


Always

by bxllatrixblack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst without a happy ending, Bellatrix is insane, Dark, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Stockholm Syndrome probably, nothing about this is healthy, there is sort of romance but it’s so tragic and nothing good will come of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:40:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29287695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bxllatrixblack/pseuds/bxllatrixblack
Summary: “I love you...” the girl said, her body still shaking from the force of the curse.“I love you too. Always.” her face was blank as she lifted the wand. “Avada kadavra.”Through the maniacal cackling she never registered the tears sliding down her face.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Comments: 6
Kudos: 61





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> This story will be from Hermione’s pov, with a short switch to Bella’s perspective just before the end.

She thought it had been weeks but she wasn’t sure. Even if she did have any way of keeping track of time, there would be no point- everyone she loved was dead and they had lost the war. 

She assumed the woman was going to kill her at some point, when the torture and humiliation became boring and she didn’t have any use for her anymore. She just hoped it would be soon. 

She knew her life was over the minute she saw Greyback rip out the throat of her best friend, the boy who lived, _supposedly._ Not through something like that though, it would seem. She hoped the wolf had at least been punished for it- not that it would make any difference, he was still gone.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming down the stone steps outside of her cell. 

“Hello, pet.” the sound of her captors voice sounded through the darkness. 

She knew what was coming before the spell had even been fired.

”Crucio!”

She didn’t even have the energy to scream anymore, although the pain never became any more bearable. 

She knew she was losing her mind when she thought briefly, through the pain, how she was coming to actually enjoy the sound of Bellatrix’s crazed cackle. It was better than the silence, anyway.

So caught up was she in the pain of the curse being inflicted on her and her somewhat insane musings about the way she was beginning to look forward to hearing the sound of the deranged woman’s voice, that she failed to notice that said deranged woman had stopped cursing her, and was currently making herself comfortable in a chair she had conjured, right opposite where the young woman was chained to the wall.

”You know,” said Bellatrix, curling a lock of hair around her wand, “It’s no fun anymore since you stopped screaming.” She said, a petulant pout on her face that Hermione would have found almost amusing had she been capable of feeling such an emotion of finding something funny anymore.

”Sorry to disappoint.” She said, in a dead, emotionless voice. 

The older witch smirked. “You know, it’s in your best interests to keep me entertained. My Dear husband has been showing such an interest in my pet since he had to kill your little friend.”

Hermione’s head snapped up at that and Bellatrix let out a cackle.

”Luna is alive?!”

”Well, _was_ alive pet, keep up. Yes, she proved to be quite a lot of fun at the start, she was thoroughly broken by the time she was disposed of though.” 

She wished she had the energy to be more upset by the news that the last living friend she had was now dead, but she somehow just felt more exhausted. _Please let it be my turn soon_. she thought.

”My husband and I sometimes like to share toys, you see. Not you though pet, don’t worry. No, you’re mine. I’ve told them all, i’ll kill them if they come anywhere near you.”

Hermione looked into Bellatrix’s eyes and wondered if the other witch was even completely aware of her presence. When she spoke it always looked more like she was talking to somebody within her own mind, rather than having a conversation with another being. _All the years locked away in Azkaban alone_ , she supposed.

At the start of her imprisonment, Hermione would fantasise about getting to know the witch and realising that she wasn’t as crazy as everyone thought, maybe eventually reasoning with her to allow her to escape and living out the rest of her life in exile. What she imagined was a good few years of getting to know the witch had proved her fantasies to be just that. 

Still though, there were moments, when chosen right where she would catch the tiniest of glimpses of the woman that Bellatrix might have been, had things been different.

”Why does it matter so much to you that I not be shared? surely it would make your life easier not having to come down here every day.” She supposed she might as well engage the woman in conversation, it would give her a break from the curses, at least.

Bellatrix smirked like she could read her thoughts. _She probably can_ , she mused.

”Tut tut. The little mudblood thinks she’s being clever, keeping the big bad death eater distracted. No no, you’ll get your curses don’t you worry little dove.” 

She went quiet for a moment and Hermione thought she knew what was going to happen, before Bellatrix got up and started to pace the room, not even bothering to pick up her wand from the chair.

”What’s mine is mine. My husband is too rough, especially with the mudbloods. Such a pretty mind, it would be such a waste. No, i think i’ll keep you all to myself. I do so love our conversations.”

Hermione wanted to point out that the time they spent together could hardly be considered conversations, with most of the time being spent by Bellatrix spouting nonsensical, insane and cryptic sentences and the majority of the rest being filled by Hermione screaming out in pain.

”Why do you always hurt me?” she asked instead.

”Keeps the voices quiet, love.”

and then, as if on queue, “Crucio.” 

She looked almost bored this time and Hermione started to think that she understood her a little better now.

She was certain weeks had past this time because Bellatrix had been coming back every day. She only knew it was every day because the dark haired witch was wearing something different each time. Although she supposed it could have been only a day and the witch could have been changing each time she came back down just to fuck with her head- she wouldn’t put it past her.

Something had definitely shifted though. She knew this because whereas before Bellatrix would visit her and it would go something like crucio, talk, crucio leave, it now went like so. Crucio, Talk, Crucio, Fuck. 

Hermione never exactly asked for it but she never exactly tried to fight it either. She supposed she didn’t really mind, Bellatrix was never gentle but she could still close her eyes and pretend it was someone who loved her. Sometimes, she would even pretend it was Bellatrix that loved her.

Sometimes she would even believe it, in a very twisted way. _Was there really that much difference between love and possession anyway?_

She made the mistake of saying it once. Three words that would ultimately be the cause of the end of everything.

Bellatrix had only laughed in the insane way only she was capable of and then hadn’t visited again for a long time.

She thought about killing her there and then, after all the fun was gone now the fight had clearly completely disappeared from the girl. Broken. Useless. 

She refused to think about why she couldn’t do it when she tried to lift her wand to send the killing curse at the girl.

 _No_ , she thought, _I’ll leave her to die. She’ll starve eventually, anyway_.

She lasted about 5 days before another fit of rage caused her to make her way down to the basement, nothing working wonders to calm her temper like firing a few curses at her little mudblood. She knew she was still alive because she had seen her traitorous house elf delivering water to the girl. 

“Sectumsempra!”   
  


She knew she had to kill her when she realised she felt no satisfaction at all watching the blood drain out of the girl. 

She felt something she hadn’t felt since the time she snapped when she was 17 and cursed her baby sister. Growing up she had quite regularly lost her temper and lashed out at her middle sister, believing she needed toughening up and it was for her own good anyway. Not Cissy though. Never Cissy. Until it was.

That was the only time she had ever felt guilt, besides today. The knowledge that guilt and love went hand in hand with her was enough to know that the girl had to die.

Hermione, had she had a long enough life to contemplate such things after the event, would have sworn that she had woken up to the same witch who was the cause of all her pain, holding her and softly murmuring apologies into her hair.

She had no recollection of it all the next time she awoke. The only indication that any of it had happened was that the next time she woke up she was no longer tied to the wall, and her wounds were all healed.

She heard the usual sound of Bellatrix approaching the cell and somehow knew it would be the last time it would be happening.

She had made up her mind. It had to happen today. Had her broken mind been capable of such things, she probably would have been upset about it. 

Still though, she supposed she was doing the kind thing. Loving her was a life sentence. Worse still, being loved by her was a death sentence. 

_How tragic_ , she thought.

As soon as she saw her she knew the girl knew. She could see the war behind her eyes, the brief thought of ‘can i stop this’, before she seemed to admit defeat. 

it unsettled her how little enjoyment she got out of that.

”I understand.” the girl said, seemingly reading her mind. 

Bellatrix sat down and for a moment they both pretended that everything was different. 

The illusion broke all too soon. The enormity of what was about to happen seemed to catch up with Hermione and she started to cry.

”Aw, little mudbaby is scared? maybe she shouldn’t have been so stupid as to fall in love with the big bad death eater!”

It was so easy for Bellatrix, falling back into the humiliation, the taunting when she had nothing else. _One more for the road, and then i better get it over with_ she thought.

“Crucio!” she screamed, and she tried to memorise the sound of the girls screams as they tore through the cell one last time. 

Then the screaming stopped.

“I love you...” the girl said, her body still shaking from the force of the curse.

“I love you too. Always.” her face was blank as she lifted the wand. “Avada kadavra.”

Through the maniacal cackling she never registered the tears sliding down her face.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t really know what to say apart from i’m sorry for this one.


End file.
